Mean Girls: How to DEAL With Them and How They Never Really Go Away

Mean Girls

Ever since my daughter was about nine-or-ten-years-old, I’ve been attempting to explain to her the phenomena of mean girls; how to deal with them, and further how they never, ever really go away. After all, I still had MEAN GIRLS of my own… as a grown woman!

I think I did this partly because I wanted my daughter to know that I didn’t always have ALL the answers to life’s tough questions. But, also, I think I wanted to relay an even more important message: She was not alone in her problem and this problem would be lifelong!


Over the years, I have learned as one grows in maturity and in the Lord, the STING of a mean girl lessens. You tend to not take things too personally and you begin to realize the actions of the mean girl have less to do with you and more to do with her own insecurities and personal issues. But don’t get me wrong! A mean girl can and most likely WILL make your life’s circumstances bumpy at times, to say the very least! So, what is a girl to do!?

LOVE them, anyway! You know that old adage ‘The person who is hardest to hug is the person who needs it the most’!? Well, it’s true. The mean girl is a hurting girl and if we can begin to view her in this light, it becomes so much easier to overlook the infraction and forgive her actions.

REFUSE to engage in the mean girl’s game by taking the high road! Nothing disarms a mean girl faster than an unwilling partner. (Yes. It’s hard. Very hard.) But I promise you, everyone else will notice the classy move on your part. Because secretly, no one really likes or respects the mean girl in the first place. And you’ll walk away, the winner!

But most importantly, PRAY! Pray for God to give you the grace to handle the situation in a way that most pleases Him. Pray for God to reveal when perhaps you’ve been a mean girl yourself!? And lastly, pray for the mean girl! (I mean really pray.) She has hurts and wounds causing her to ‘act out’ in a mean way and YOU may be the only person praying for her…

“Be imitators of God, as well-loved children [imitate their father.] And walk in LOVE…” (Eph. 5:1-2)Tweet:

A mean girl can be a formidable enemy and a force to reckon with, for sure! But remember, it is not our job to ‘fix’ the mean girl. God will take care of that! Just love her through it. And then, maybe… just maybe, THROUGH your love and grace, God will not only rehabilitate but deliver the mean girl!


In the wake of the new year, I issued myself a personal challenge… ‘To be so FULL of God’s love that I could not fathom speaking an unkind word or doing an unkind deed.’ Join me in my quest! #theLoveChallenge

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  1. With two teenage daughters, we’ve had some mean girl talks. Your encouragement applies to all of us, we can all benefit from learning to respond with a blessing rather than in like kind.

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